Of Envelopes and Innuendo
by SparrowxLight
Summary: In which Astro and Cora have a bit of fun at Zane's expense, Zane feels the need for brain bleach, and Dr. Tenma decides that ignorance is bliss. A/C, of course. Movie Based.


It's been a while since I've written anything around here, and I know I really should be working on Doppelgangland, but this plot bunny was just too good to pass up. You can call it a sort of sequel or companion or third cousin fic to "OF Envelope Licking and Kisses". Takes place several years after the film, imagining Astro & Cora are the same age of 16 or 17. They're an established couple at this point.

You can blame this on my warped, high school mind. Somewhat cracky, not intended to be taken seriously.

* * *

><p>"What is it with you people?" Zane's exclamation echoed throughout Astro's bedroom. He dropped a box of envelopes on the floor.<p>

See, the 15 year old had volunteered to go and fetch another box of letters, leaving the other two alone. Upon walking back in the room, he saw that Astro and Cora were sitting on the floor, attached at the lips and hands all over each other. Long abandoned envelopes of fan mail were scattered around them.

"I leave you alone for one second and this is what happens!" Zane continued. "God!" He shook his head.

Cora practically jumped away from her position on Astro's lap. She bit her lip with embarrassment as the younger teen stared her down. Thankfully for Cora, Zane moved his glare from her to Astro.

The robot laughed nervously and wiped Cora's lip gloss from his mouth. He exchanged a glance with the girl, and they both burst into laughter.

"That's it—I'm leaving," snapped Zane. He walked out of the doorway and started off down the hall.

Cora examined her chipped black nail polish idly. She knew Zane wasn't quite finished with his ranting yet.

"3…" started Cora.

"2…" continued Astro.

"1…" They finished in unison; as Zane reappeared in the doorway right on cue.

Cora snorted.

"You know what?" Zane started again. "I understand '_new couple bliss_' and all that—I do. But what I don't get is why _you two _have to show it around _normal _people."

"Sorry," said Astro sheepishly.

"You should be," retorted Zane, looking expectantly at Cora.

"Well, you weren't in the room," she shrugged.

"That's not the point."

"Are you done now?" asked Astro.

Zane glowered at him.

"You feel better?" inquired Cora.

He hesitated. "…Yes…so…I'll just be going now…" He nodded to them cordially.

The teenage girl and robot gave him a 'just get on with it' look.

"Bye." With that one curt word, Zane turned and ambled down the hallway. Again.

Cora turned to Astro. "How long do we have til he gets back?" she asked, certain the boy was not yet leaving.

Astro shrugged. "3 minutes, give or take."

Several seconds went by.

"I have an idea," announced Cora unexpectedly.

"What's that?" Astro asked. He was absentmindedly twirling one of Cora's magenta streaked locks of hair around his finger.

Smiling mischievously, she leaned in and whispered her surely ingenious idea to him.

Astro smirked. "I like the way you think."

* * *

><p>"Guys?" called Zane, walking back through Astro's house. "I think I left my…" The boy's voice trailed off when he came to a halt at Astro's closed bedroom door.<p>

"_Astro…!" _

…was that a moan?

Of course not—he was just letting his dirty teenage mind run away.

But just in case, Zane pressed his ear against the door.

"_Right there…" _That was Cora's voice.

"_Like that?"_

"_AH!"_

Oh god.

Oh mother of all things holy.

They were _not_ doing _that. _

No, no, no, no, no, oh god, no, this was not happening.

Had they even the decency to wait until the front door shut?

"_Oh, Astro!" _That was most definitely Cora, yelling unabashedly.

And then he heard the bed shaking. Coils squealing and frame slamming into the wall over and over again.

Zane had to bite his fist to keep from screaming in revulsion while he rubbed his face frantically. Oh, sweet lord on high, the mental images.

He should leave. The only problem was, he couldn't seem to remember how to walk. Gathering his jaw off of its temporary residence on the floor, he slowly began staggering off down the hallway.

He would never be able to forget this.

* * *

><p>On the inside of the room, Cora and Astro were on the latter's bed, fully clothed, jumping up and down, and moaning like ghosts.<p>

"Can we…stop…now?" asked Astro, his breathing heavy, because despite being the totally awesome robot super hero that he was, the last few minutes of non-stop bouncing was quite the work out.

"Almost," panted Cora before letting out an especially loud whimpering moanscream. With that, she fell flat on her back, chest heaving. "That should do it."

Astro followed suit, lying parallel to his girlfriend. "You think we scarred him for life?"

"If we didn't, I'd say we have a bigger problem on our hands," laughed Cora.

"What'd you—_oh_…" Astro cringed. Pushing that out of his mind, he started to sit up. "Guess we should be getting back to those letters, right?"

Cora put a hand on his chest, pushing him back down and pinning him there with her body. "They can wait." She smiled deviously, going in for his lips again.

* * *

><p>Still gradually making his way out of the apartment, Zane pondered if it was possible to remove the mental pictures etched into his skull with a hearty dose of bleach.<p>

Interrupting his very bedraggled train of thought, the front door opened and Dr. Tenma walked through.

"Hello, Zane," greeted Tenma warily. The doctor couldn't help but notice that the boy looked stranger than usual. "Are you…alright?"

The horror," muttered Zane, slowly shaking his head, eyes fixed straight ahead. "The horror!"

Dr. Tenma watched in awkward silence as the boy shuffled out the door.

What just happened?

He looked from the front door to the hallway leading to Astro's room.

'_Should I…?' _Thought Dr. Tenma.

He shook his head.

He didn't want to know.


End file.
